Single Sadness...When everyone is in a relationship but you!

I have honestly started to question “Is there anyone out there for me?” I think and imagine my perfect guy all the time just treating me and others with such kindness, and I imagine myself putting so much trust in him.




I imagine someone that I can go to church with but someone that I can enjoy a social outing or concert with.




I imagine a guy that is into me for my heart and not just my looks.




I imagine a boy that is simple and cute and a little country.




I imagine my perfect person ALL the time. And while this is a good thing, it can also be unhealthy.




When we start to obsess over finding the right person it takes away from the season of life we are in right now. Yes, you should pray for a person to come in your life one day that makes you realized why it never worked with anyone else.




But no, you should not spend everyday in misery waiting for your person. And no, you should not just date ANYONE that breathes oxygen just to feel wanted.




No, you should not feel unhappy in your single season of life. No, you should not feel ugly or unintelligent or any less of a person because you aren’t in a romantic relationship.




No you should not give yourself away just to make him stay. A real man will value your purity.




All the things I just mentioned... don’t do them. Even I have to remind myself of all the No’s in my days of single sadness.




But I’m going to give a few tips and things you should do in this time of your life.



1. Grow in the spirit.



God wants you to meet that special someone. But he also wants you to be prepared before you do. He wants your relationship with him to be stronger than anything else. In order to be a good future spouse to someone you must grow in Christ. Trusting in his timing is one major way to grow your faith and relationship with the Lord. Set your relationship with the Lord as your main priority and then he will bless you with a special someone!
Galatians 5: 

Walking in the Spirit

16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

2. Grow yourself




To attract the person you are looking for you must first grow yourself. Take each day forming habits that will make you a better person so one day you will be an uplifting partner to someone else. Kick out any bad habits that you know you need help with because you wouldn’t want your bad habits to rub off on your future bf!! So take the time to grow yourself while you are waiting.



3. Establish your purpose.




Ok this one may take a little time and effort. And can still be done after you find your person. But at least while you’re waiting you can work to figure out what it is God has designed you to do. We all have special abilities that we can use to feel a sense of purpose in life. Whether it’s teaching people, or serving others, or you have a special heart for children you can find your purpose. Use it to keep yourself so busy that you don’t think about being lonely. You’re just working hard by using what God has blessed you with!



4. Establish a career.




Considering I’m just in college still means mine is a work in progress. But I am studying and learning toward a career. Others that already have a career and are still single can further it everyday. Use your purpose you established in #3 to work into a career. If you have established a career guys love strong, ambitious women. A strong relationship can only be built on strong individuals.

5. Enjoy time out with friends.




Many people don’t use their single seasons wisely to gain as many friendships as possible. They overlook it and only do things with their friends ever so often. Make some BEST friends. The kind of friendship that you are dying to catch up with them if you haven’t seen each other in just a couple days. Make a friend that you can truly trust. Because one day when you are in a relationship you’ll want someone to confide in. Also find a friend that will have a good time with you and make some dang good memories! And I’m not saying you can’t have friends and do things with them in a relationship, but obviously you would be devoting more time to a boyfriend than if you were single. So network, build strong friendships, and have fun!

6. Pray



God has shown me time and time again how he never fails to provide when I pray to him. Whatever you struggle with each day, give it to him. But as far as a person goes, pray for them. Pray for the qualities you want in a future spouse. Pray that the Lord is strengthening those qualities in that person. And lastly pray for the faith to trust God in his perfect timing and plan for your life.